Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Elder Hollands CES firside

Can you say wow to his devotional tonight. I just got home from playing with my neighbor's kids at the park and it was 8:10 and suddenly I remembered there was a CES fireside tonight. I turned on the pre-show to the VMA's and just had this inspiration to turn on the fireside. I decided to turn it on and I have never felt the spirit so strong. It was beautiful. I was litterally in tears for the last hour. It was like Elder Holland was talking to me. I knew Heavenly Father wanted me to hear his talk. Since I have been home it has been nothing but heartache. I have been called countless names by my brother. I know I don't deserve to be treated so badly. I didn't get it. I felt like I have been doing what I needed to be doing. I started to doubt that being home was the right decision. I litterally got onto the Jetblue website one day and almost bought a ticket back to Utah. After I calmed down I decided that I am not going to allow words to bring me down. hahaha easier said than done. A few days later my brother had another fit and for about an hour straight I had to listen to him call me very horrible names. See my brother does not believe in God. Okay well he says he believes there is a God he just doesn't believe there is a Christ. He think that the mormon church is full of crap. See he went to church for a long time but as he got older he started to research a lot of anti-mormon literature. We all know what is said in that stuff. Well, all of this leads him to hate me. He says things like I am only mormon because I want to be "white". along with a lot of other stuff that I don't really want to get into. He even told me that I am not allowed to have the missionaries over the house because it makes him feel uncomfortable. This would not normally bother me so much but my little sister wants to get baptized, and this calls for the missionaries to come over and teach my sister. This can't happen because my brother has threatened me that if they come over he will make sure to say horrible things to them. Now I have to walk to the nearest park to meet them there so they can teach my sister. All of the these things happening realy made me start to, pretty much, pitty myself. I started to realize that I have to have more faith. I did remember my Savior and His trials. I know that he suffered more than I did and I know I am not greater than He. I was just so confused about why I need to go through this. I loved how Elder Holland spoke about making, our versions of Liberty Jail, a temple. That really touched me. I have seen lots of trials in my life. Sometimes I wonder when I am going to get a break. I know I have to endure through them. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. right?!I am so grateful for my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I know they answer my prayers. I know I was inspired to watch this devotional. The Lord knew I needed to hear the things that were taught. I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet. I know he restored the gospel. I know that the things that are taught in the church are true. Our Father hears our prayers. I know He is there with me when I am going through my trials. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. Also read D&C 121, 122, 123